When “Qualifying” Asian women, you ask questions or make statements that “test” her in a playful way. You are sending the message that you’re not sure if she measures up to your criteria—and you’re giving her the chance to show you why she deserves to be with you.
“I have to say, Hiroki, you’re very cute…but I hope you know how to give a good back massage, because that’s one of my requirements in a girlfriend.”
“I was worried you might be stuck-up when I first saw you, but you’re actually pretty cool…the question is, can you sing? I take my karaoke very seriously, so if you can’t sing I’m sorry but this relationship is never going to work…”
“It’s nice to meet an Asian woman who likes to laugh and doesn’t take herself so seriously. But now I need to ask you an important question…and be careful how you answer, because if you give the wrong answer there is no way we can date each other…”
(So now the girl is suddenly paying close attention…wondering what in the world this “important question” is…)
Then, I’ll ask her one of the Hypotheticals from my book Mack Tactics. Basically, Hypotheticals are clever questions that you ask girls, and they work in two ways: they get her to reveal personal details about herself, and they allow you to plant seeds in her mind about your own attractive qualities.
An example of a Hypothetical would asking the girl, “If you had a million dollars to build a house with, but you had to build it out of wood, concrete, or glass, which one would you use to build your house? Think about it…because the way a person answers this question says a lot about the type of person they are…”
So now she’s thinking about what to say. She wants to come up with the “right” answer. (See how you’re turning the tables here?) But the cool thing about Hypotheticals is that there is no WRONG response. No matter how she answers, you will agree with her and use it to strengthen your bond with her.
Whether she chooses wood, glass, or concrete, say “that’s exactly what I thought you would say.” Now you’ve really got her intrigued! When she asks why, explain to her what her answer means about her.
If she says “glass,” tell her it means she’s a very open person—just like you are. She’s not afraid to reveal herself and her emotions. She has a wide circle of friends. People like to be around her because she is outgoing and expresses her feelings. Friends come to her with their problems. She can be very passionate, too, when she loves someone or she believes in something.
If she answers “wood,” tell her it means she has a creative side—and that’s awesome, because so do you. She likes to work with her hands. She either has an artistic hobby, or she plays an instrument, or there’s something creative that she wants to pursue. (All women have a creative side, or believe they have one which they want to develop.)
If she answers “concrete,” tell her it means she has a need to feel secure and it’s very important for her to feel safe and stable. (This definitely applies to Asian women; I’m never surprised when they answer this Hypothetical this way.) “When you’re in a relationship, you need to feel that your man can protect you and will always be there for you,” you say. “I completely understand, because that’s how I’d want my girlfriend to feel.”
All of these interpretations are broad enough that they apply to virtually all women. But you should always be ready with a further explanation in the event that she disagrees with your interpretation. If she chooses glass, and you tell her she’s an open person, she might say she’s not: “Actually, I keep my feelings locked up inside. It takes me a while to open up to people.”
To this, you would say “but I can tell that you want to be more open. You want to let more people into your life, but something is holding you back.” Now let her respond. A gateway has just opened to a personal, intimate discussion.
Likewise, if she chooses wood but tells you she’s not creative, you can say “but I can tell you’ve got a creative side you haven’t really explored.” Chances are she will be flattered by this statement and see some truth in it. She’ll find a reason to agree; maybe she’s always been interested in art, or would love to learn how to play a musical instrument, or wants to design clothes, but hasn’t explored these areas.
Encourage her to do so. And as she shares these personal details about herself, and you show appreciation, the bond between you and her is strengthened.
The Mack Tactics book contains an entire chapter full of Hypotheticals—and you can always come up with your own, too. These are cool ways to “pull” her in and make her feel she is earning your approval. They’re also ways to make the conversation interesting and unpredictable (instead of just making boring small talk).
But remember what I said earlier about Sexual Tension. As you keep flirting with her, you also want to “push” her away a little at times, to make her want to keep earning your approval.
Here, I like to use the “break up” technique. Pretend as if the two of you are already a couple (even though you just met), and something she says causes you to “break up” with her.
I’ll bring up a topic like our favorite movies, music or TV shows. No matter what country they’re from (with the possible exception of North Korea!), Asian women watch Hollywood movies and know about our celebrities, and listen to Western pop music.
When she mentions some actor, singer, etc. that I consider to be totally corny (and believe me, Asian girls can like some pretty corny stuff), I’ll playfully “break up” with her because of it:
“Hold on, you think that guy from the ‘Twilight’ movie is a great actor? I’m sorry, but I have to break up with you for that. I’m moving out tomorrow and I’m taking the dog with me.” (Then laugh, tell her you’re just kidding.)
If it’s a beautiful Asian girl who lives in America, you can poke fun at her about the reality TV shows she watches. Women get addicted to these shows, especially ones that involve blind dates, weddings, some moron bachelor trying to find a wife, etc.
I’ll get the girl to admit she loves some cheesy show, then I’ll say “I’m sorry, I hate to say this, but if you’re going to keep watching that show we cannot live in the same house. I’m packing my bags, this relationship is over.”
Then laugh and pull her back in: “Well maybe I can give you a second chance, because you probably do have better taste in music. Who’s your favorite singer? And please don’t say Britney Spears. Lip-synching and singing are two different things…”
Be creative with these and have fun. You can turn just about any topic—music, movies, travel, your favorite type of food, etc.—into ways to playfully tease her and make it seem like you’re not so sure the two of you should try to date each other.
Again, these things should be said playfully. If you were to say these things with a straight face, you’d run the risk of offending her.
Even though the idea is to have fun, you’re also sending an important message when you converse with girls in this manner: you’re a guy with standards. The ordinary, predictable guy would have just nodded his head and gone along with whatever she said. Not you. You turn it into an opportunity to tease her a little and show some confidence and humor.
Here’s another technique: “The Point System.” When a girl gives says or does something that I like, I’ll “award” her some points:
“So you like going to the gym? That’s great, I love a girl who takes care of her body. I’m going to give you two points for that. If you can get up to ten points with me, I’ve got a special surprise for you…”
On the flip side, when she says something that doesn’t sync up with my own preferences, I’ll tell her I’m deducting two points:
“Really? You’re not a good cook? I’m sorry, Lucy, but I’m going to have to deduct those two points I gave you earlier…”
I’ve had conversations with beautiful women where the “point system” framed everything that we talked about! Every time I asked her a question about anything, she was pausing…trying to give me a “right” answer…and waiting for my verdict to see if she’d won more points. We had a lot of laughs over it, and I was completely controlling the whole interaction.
It’s great because you’re completely “flipping the script” of how a conversation normally goes between a guy and a girl he’s trying to get to know. If she’s hot, she may have never encountered a guy who was this much fun to talk to—and this confident in himself.
Category: Asian Women