In my years of being a dating coach for Love Systems, it’s become clear to me that one of the easiest and best ways to attract beautiful Asian women is to use “Push/Pull.” The guys I know who are the best with women – at bars, on the street, or with social circles; it doesn’t matter – are all “Push/Pull” masters.
What, exactly, is Push/Pull?
Basic Definition: “Saying something nice and pairing it with something negative or saying something negative and pairing it with something nice.”
For example: Tell her that she’s really sexy, and then tell her that she needs to run away before you do bad things to her.
The advanced definition replaces the word “saying” with “doing.” Instead of just using words to communicate positive and negative messages, you can also use non-verbal elements like touch, facial expressions, body language, etc.
For example: Tease her about something or playfully call her out on something while smiling, giving her a hug, or squeezing her hand to show you’re joking.
Calibration
Every woman is different. Some hot Asian girls (especially those used to a lot of attention) need five “pushes” to every “pull.” Compliments are boring when they come too frequently and easily. But even with these women, there’s only so much you can “push” without any “pulls” before they think you’re a jerk (and not in a good way).
Other women are the opposite. You might need five “pull” compliments for every “push.”
And then this changes depending on her mood and her perception of your value. In general, the higher-value she thinks you are, the more pushes and fewer pulls you should use. Experiment and watch her reaction, and with some practice you’ll get it right.
Live Examples
One of the things people like best about my Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game book is all of the transcripts and dialogues from my pickups. So, I’ll break down a live example here from when I hooked up with Carolyn, a sexy brunette from Texas.
I found out that she was from Texas about ten minutes into the conversation. I’m originally from Oklahoma (which borders Texas), so I use the natural Oklahoma-Texas rivalry to create some Push/Pull:
(In the dialogue below, I broke each part of what I said into a separate line and used green for “pulls” and red for “pushes.”
1. “Damn, you’re from Texas.” [Faking disappointment with face and body language]
2. “This sucks; you’re really cute and I was just starting to like you.”
3. “But now I have to break up with you. I’m going to need my CDs back and my letter jacket. Now that I know you are from Texas, I don’t feel so bad about cheating on you.”
4. “But, you were amazing in bed. This makes me sad.”
5. (Pretend to walk away)
6. (Come back smiling) She drops her jaw and playfully punches me in the arm. I pull her in, hug her, and kiss her on the cheek.
* * *
#2, #4, and #6 were all “Pulls” – I was pulling her closer to me, emotionally (#2 and #4) as well as physically and logistically (#6).
#1, #3, and #5 were all “Pushes” – I was pushing her away, emotionally (#1, #3) as well as logistically (#5).
Getting Good at Push/Pull
Go out and practice pushing as hard as you can without angering the woman you’re talking to. The “sweet spot” you’re looking for is when she is almost mad, but you can tell that she likes that you have the balls to push her buttons, but the social intelligence to release the tension with a “pull.”
(If “social intelligence” sounds familiar to you, it should. It’s one of the eight attraction switches that are your best bet to attract beautiful women, first introduced in the seduction bible Magic Bullets. All of this stuff fits together – that’s why it’s Love Systems and not “a collection of interesting ideas.”)
Go out for a week and mess this up. You will occasionally get a bad reaction from women. That’s okay. In fact, that’s the only way you’ll learn where the boundaries are. The more she likes you and the more attracted she is, the harder you can push. The farther you can successfully take things with the teasing “pushing” the better it will feel for her when you do release the tension by being warm verbally or physically, “pulling.”
This will let you build deep layers of attraction with women.
Most guys will say “Just kidding” when the woman wasn’t even mad. Save comments like “just kidding” for when you truly piss her off and even then use it sparingly.
Also, don’t kill sexual tension by playfully pushing but laughing at your own joke too early in an attempt to break the tension, hoping she will ‘be okay with it.’ Have some balls and be okay with creating some tension.
This tension is what makes the compliments (“the pull”) actually feel really good. No tension + pulling = no attraction and no secondary gain of the pull feeling good. Pulling with no attraction is simply validating her, not making a connection.
Go out and practice complimenting. Put them in a range and see what happens. Notice the difference when you give light compliments after several teases. Notice that it doesn’t kill the tension, but actually allows you to push it farther. Then try over complimenting too early and being way too nice and notice how it kills the sexual tension and makes it even harder to push the next time.