The stereotypical Filipina is sweet, submissive, caring (meaning they take care of their men) and martyrs. Most of those are true and in most instances, those stereotypes are emulated by most Filipinas. However, painting them in one singular image would be missing the point. The idea is not to find a formula in getting them but to understand them at different stages or phases of their personalities and situations.
Filipina Girlfriends: Filipinas in Relationships
Filipinas, when in relationships, particularly committed ones, are characteristically dedicated. This quality is key to understanding them. In comparison to other Asian women who are only submissive, Filipinas are actually engaging. While they too submit, they don’t submit silently. Not that they are conditional. They are usually not, at least about loving. But they too are not robots. As the most westernized culture in the East, they expect their men to hear them and honor their perspective and let them be part of every decision made that have to do with the relationship or the family, if already married. The other side of this is that it gives them the opportunity to support their men in ways that is rarely possible with passive partners. In other words, while they may be submissive to some extent, Filipinas are rarely passive at all.
However, that goes without saying that Filipina girlfriends can assume different characters within a relationship, especially with western men. With western men, they can be especially predictable.
The following are the personalities they mostly assume when dating seriously with western men.
This is a popular stereotype perhaps because of the zillion of Filipinas working in service industries including domestic helpers outside the Philippines. Unfortunately in many cases this is true. Especially with western guys who go steady with a low educated Filipina from rural corners of the Philippines. Not that they don’t complain but the way they act as the other half in a relationship is one of servitude. In many cases this is because it is their sincere way of paying back to their partners for saving them and their family from a lifetime of poverty. Keyword is servitude.
The partner is the opposite of the Maid. This type of Filipina girlfriend is proud and believes firmly in equality of sexes. That does not mean that they don’t submit or that you have to debate all the time. But the Partner type, regardless of social status, demands respect and demands an audience for their point of view. But at the same time, they are good listeners and very receptive and sensitive. If duly acknowledged, they can be very helpful and great motivators. Keyword is reciprocity.
This type does not mean the girl should be married to the western guy. However the term wife emphasizes one thing this type of Filipina girl has. Faithfulness. This is the kind of Filipina who believes in the sanctity of marriage and will be dependable and very loving as long as the relationship is within the context of marriage or marriage bound. Among the character types, this is the most imposive. Not necessarily possessive but the Wife type will expect more from you as the husband which is if indeed you will be married, will then be natural. Keyword is faithfulness.
The lover is the passionate type. They are characterized by their open but intense view of relationships. Among the character types, this is the most western and liberal. Filipinas’ kind of passion though is subtle and uninvading. Yes Filipinas too know how to flirt. In fact they are the sweetest and most charming when they do. But there rarely is any sense of aggression when they do it. If western ladies are foxes, Filipinas are the pussies. Meaningful? You bet! Keyword is passion.
The Common Attributes of Filipina Girls
Especially those who deliberately choose western men, there are a few sets of attributes that are common to Filipina girls that somehow have something to do with their choices.
An obvious result of colonial cultural assimilation, it is almost insulting how most Filipinos would want to be fair skinned when they are naturally brown, something the white west is willing to burn under the sun to achieve. But somehow it has become wired into the Filipino psyche that white is beautiful.
When the Spaniards came to what is now the Philippines, it is barely anything that resembles a country. Outmatched in armory and sophistication, the islanders that populated the islands then succumbed to their might and became their servants. Since then Filipinos, particularly Filipinas, have a psychology of servitude. Whether it was the Spaniards, the Illustrados, the Americans and then the feudal lords that inherited the wealth left by the colonial powers, Filipinos have lived a life of servitude. This is the reason why it is very natural for Filipinas to do service. Even if they have learned to complain incessantly, they still are naturally men and women of service. Western men who witness this should not take it as weakness but rather a cultural feature that, though not their choice, is truly part of who they are as a person.
This is actually part of the previous trait. However, it is enumerated separately to emphasize its human significance. As much as Filipinas are natural women of service, they are also women of heart. When service is mixed with strong family attachment, the result is a great capacity to take care of people, in disease, disability and old age. This is the reason that any western man who marries a Filipina can expect their wife to stay with him even when he is already senile. Though homes for the aged are present in the Philippines, it is largely frown upon by Filipinos.
There is a joke that says Filipinos has the biggest family in the world. In a way, that is true. Unlike in the west where the young moves out usually at 18, Filipinos can stay with their family even after they get married. Their strong family bond is such that if possible they should stay together as a family. This quality has been very attractive to western men who want to settle down for good. Western family man types should find their Filipina girlfriends very marriage material.
Filipina Girlfriends at Birds Eye View
Filipinas can be predictable but they can never be chained. While they may have been culturally converted to a lifestyle of service, they also have inherited the urge to be free. A Filipina spirit is one of a dove. It loves the comfort of home but equally cherish their ability to fly out free. It would be wrong to think of the Filipina in stereotypes because as she may have been unable to rise from the curses of her cultural heritage, she is also a work in progress, constantly evolving in the same pace as this rapidly changing world.