Dating Thai Women

dating Thai womenThailand is the most popular international tourist destination for men who want to meet (or party with) Asian women. The Philippines has not marketed itself to the world the way Thailand has been able to. Personally, I prefer the Philippines and recommend it as a great place to go for men who’ve never been to Asia, for one simple fact: Filipinos speak English. Thais generally speak some English, but the language barrier can be significant.

Then again, it’s a barrier worth trying to overcome once you get a load of the gorgeous Thai women. They are exceptionally beautiful, with their jet-black hair, slim, curvy bodies, and soft, feminine features. Obesity is rare among beautiful Thai women because of their healthy diet (and Thai food, in addition to being healthy, is delicious).

Thailand is known as “The Land Of Smiles” because of the tendency of Thai people to smile all the time. For Western guys—who are used to living stressful lifestyles and dealing with women who are cold and unapproachable—a visit to Thailand is truly a mind-blower.
But the Thai smile can mean many things. They smile not only when they are happy or amused, but when they are uncertain, embarrassed, or even annoyed or furious. This can obviously cause a lot of confusion for Westerners.

The reason for the ubiquitous “Thai smile” is that Thai people are extremely concerned about being polite and their behavior is rooted in their religion: Buddhism. It is a non-confrontational society, where showing impatience or anger in public is regarded as a sign of weakness.

The concept of “face” is very important in Thailand—and never forget that Thais are fiercely proud of who they are. You always want to maintain good “face,” and this means never losing your temper or raising your voice. The idea is to always display jai yen (cool heart). The most popular saying in Thailand is my pen rai, which means “no problem.” This is truly the Thai attitude towards life: it’s always “my pen rai,” because as devout Buddhists, they believe that their prayers and actions are giving them “merit” which Buddha will apply towards their next life.

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Keeping a “cool heart” is crucial if you’re in Thailand and trying to get a Thai person to help you with a problem. Being direct and emotionally honest—which is the way we tackle situations in the Western world—will not get you results in Thailand. Smile, keep a cool heart, and if things don’t work out to your liking, shrug it off as “no problem.”

I’m not saying this is always easy to do. As a hard-charging Westerner who was raised in New York City—an intense, fast-paced atmosphere—when I’ve got a problem, I want to make my voice heard and figure out the deal as quickly as possible. But in Thailand, behaving this way will only complicate your problems.

dating Thai girlsThailand is also, of course, famous for its massive sex industry. In Bangkok (the sprawling capital) and Pattaya (a seaside resort town jam-packed with bars and clubs), there are endless beautiful Thailand girls who will make their “services” available to you. I’ll talk in more detail later about the “bargirl” scene in Thailand (and throughout Asia), but here we’ll focus on the “good” Thai women who aren’t involved in any of that.

Most foreigners who travel to Thailand immerse themselves in the bar scene in Pattaya bars and in Bangkok, since it offers instant sexual gratification and allows even the most unattractive, socially awkward guys to get laid. (Truth be told, it can also be a huge amount of fun.) However, you’re really missing out if you visit Thailand and don’t make the effort to meet quality local women. They’re everywhere. You won’t be able to lure them by simply whipping out your wallet; some patience and “game” is required.

Here’s an interesting take on Thai women from an Internet forum, for guys who are willing to look beyond the bargirl scene:

“Thai ladies are quite educated and worldly, and less conservative than others in the region. It is certainly not impossible to find a woman who has advanced degrees and quite a bit more money and better prospects than the average (foreign) backpacker. Don’t expect her to buy you drinks, though, unless you’re very lucky. In Thailand, as in most Asian countries, men are usually expected to foot the bill.

Smelly backpackers need to clean up, shave (or at least trim the 6 months growth of beard), and put on some decent clothes to attract Thai women. Thais have a high standard of cleanliness and things like body odor or long fingernails will be immediate turn-offs. This is less true in the countryside or smaller towns, where just being a foreigner provides the traveller with a certain degree of higher status. However, most women in the countryside won’t speak a word of English.

Older and divorced Thai women can be a great group of people for the foreigner to meet a confident, knowledgeable and more financially stable woman for a long term relationship. As is common in most of Asia, divorced women are looked down on and considered highly undesirable by the local culture. The best chance that a Thai woman in such a situation may have is to find a foreign man. Thai women tend to age extremely well, and it can be difficult for a foreigner (especially a newly arrived traveller) to tell if a woman is 20 years old or 40 years old.

The notion of finding a “submissive” woman who will cook and clean is overblown for the most part, though it is more likely in the countryside, where economic development has fallen far behind Bangkok. Most Thai women will be quite opinionated and can be very passionate.

dating ThaiLady-boys are ubiquitous in Thailand, and many look exactly like women. They are completely accepted in their new gender role by society, and the traveller will have to take a second look as he assesses a “woman” in the street or in a bar. An Adam’s apple is a guaranteed sign.

Back in the West, a hyper-masculine guy with a strong, muscular build like Vin Diesel would probably be considered very attractive to a lot of girls. Not so in Thailand. Don’t forget that the average Thai girl is fairly short and as thin as a stick – she’d probably be terrified of someone Vin Diesel’s size! On the other hand, a guy who looks like Matt Damon – someone who is slim, strong, yet with a slightly effeminate face – would do very well in Thailand. So nurture your metrosexual side and you may have to beat off the girls with a stick.

If there’s one physical feature that’s an almost universal turn-off to Thai girls, it’s a large beer belly. Of course, losing weight is easier said than done, and poor genes or a slowing metabolism sure doesn’t help. Neither does the widespread availability of cheap beer in Thailand or that huge portion of bangers’n’mash at your favorite expat restaurant. However, by following a few simple tips, it can be relatively easy to stabilize your weight or even drop a few pounds in Thailand.

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First off, if you must drink, better stick with whiskey & soda rather than the ubiquitous beer, which is heavy in calories. Secondly, Thai eateries generally serve meals of smaller portions and fewer calories than the typical gut-busting fare of an expat restaurant, so eat local and you’ll be shedding the pounds in no time. Fitter guys appear younger, healthier, and generally more desirable to Thai girls, so control your weight and notice the difference in the attention you receive from the Thai ladies.

The first clue as to what Thai girls want involves looking at the other half of the Thai race: Thai men. Virtually all Thai girls in their 20’s or older will have dated at least one Thai guy in the past. The majority of Thai guys tend to be short, thin, and somewhat effeminate. Foreigners, on the other hand, tend to be taller, heavier built, and more masculine. All these factors can definitely work in the foreign man’s favor – but only in moderation. Most Thai girls want a man who is tall and strong – but not some huge body builder or muscle freak. In fact, most romantically successful foreign guys in Thailand tend to be relatively slim and effeminate compared to other foreigners – though of course larger and more masculine than the average Thai male. So if you read body building magazines and spend hours at the gym pumping iron, you might want to lay off the steroids for awhile before booking a flight to Thailand.

It’s unfortunate but true: in Thailand, people are judged all the time based on skin tone. The whiter the skin, the more attractive, wealthy, and elite a person is perceived to be. Little wonder then that the supermarkets are filled with skin-whitening products that many Thai girls will carry around an umbrella to block out the sun’s rays, and that Thai models are so pale they look like they haven’t been exposed to sunlight since they stopped wearing diapers.

Therefore, a foreign male who gets a kick out of burning his skin to a crisp reddish brown on the islands before hitting the clubs in Bangkok shouldn’t be too surprised when Thai girls don’t give him a second glance. Of course, most Caucasian foreign guys who arrive in Thailand are pretty white to begin with, so as long as you don’t seek out the sun, you should be fine. On the other hand, African-Americans, Indians, and Arabs who arrive in Thailand will be at a distinct disadvantage in the dating arena due to their darker shade.”

The Clothes Make the Man

“It’s been written over and over again that keeping a high standard of personal hygiene and dressing with a little class does wonders for the foreign male’s chances of winning over a beautiful Thai girl. Well, most foreign guys in Thailand must be too busy downing yet another Chang (the local beer) to do much reading, because it’s amazing how poor most foreigners dress in Thailand. I’m not even referring to the neo-hippy backpackers because that’s a whole different story, but to the middle-aged guys who show up to a club wearing sandals, shorts, and a Red Bull tank top. In any decent club, restaurant, or bar, the average Thai male will be wearing nice shoes, designer jeans, and a stylist dress shirt. Follow suit and you will instantly be elevating yourself above 90% of the foreigners in Thailand, and receiving much more attention from the opposite sex to boot.”

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