So you met a cute Asian honey, got her phone number, and now it’s time to make plans with her. Where should you take her—and how can you guarantee that you’ll both have a good time and she’ll want to see you again?
(By the way, having a “good time” on this date means that you will at least make out with her by the end of the night. If you don’t kiss her on Date #1, there’s a good chance you will never get Date #2.)
My first piece of advice is to stop viewing these situations as “dates.” It only adds pressures and expectations. Think about it: what kinds of emotions and feelings do you normally associate the word “date” with? It usually means having to figure out the right outfit to wear, bringing her to the right restaurant or movie, saying the right things during the conversation, and basically not screwing it up…
The average guy views the first date as his chance to try to impress the girl—to demonstrate to her that he is worthy of being her boyfriend. And most of the time, the end result is that he spends a bunch of money and never winds up sleeping with her. She’ll claim to be “super busy” when he attempts to line up Date #2, and if he persists in trying to ask her out, she’ll give him the “I just like you as a friend…” routine.
This is when guys start getting a negative attitude towards dating and thinking that all the good-looking women are “stuck up,” or that they’re only interested in guys with tons of money, or that girls prefer to date assholes instead of respectful nice guys…
None of this is true. The problem, quite simply, is that these guys don’t understand how to handle the first date properly. If they’d done things differently, those dates would have had a much different outcome.
I don’t even like to use the word “dating.” I view these situations as “first meets”—and I always try to close the deal that night. You can be a perfect gentleman and still have sex with her on the first date. In fact, she’s going to want sex as much as you do as long as you push the right “attraction buttons.”
I don’t see this as my chance to impress her; it’s her chance to get to know more about me, and for me to decide whether this is a girl I want to spend time with in the future.
I don’t say this to sound cocky or arrogant. While I’m with the girl, I will provide her with great company. We’ll have awesome conversation, lots of laughs, and I’ll ask interesting questions and genuinely appreciate what she has to say. But in the back of my mind, I’m never thinking “gosh, I hope this girl likes me.”
I’m thinking, “now that we’re enjoying each other’s company, let me start taking it to the next level and guiding this towards romance.” And it’s my job to make this happen. Asian women tend to be less bold and flirtatious than Western women, and they’ll keep their interest in you pretty well concealed until you bring it out of them.
To Court Her, Or Not To Court?
It’s commonly believed that Asian women require you to “court” them (which basically means taking them out on numerous dates, spend money on fancy dinners and gifts, and not getting any sex). This may be the way it goes in the romantic movies and soap operas they watch, but in reality, none of this is necessary. In fact, acting this way towards women can hurt your chances of success.
All women say they want to be courted—to have some guy bring them flowers and chocolates, take them on fancy dates, and treat them like the center of the universe. But mutual sexual attraction does not develop this way.
Women are hard-wired to want what they can’t have, and they will quickly lose interest in something that is easily attainable.
When a guy makes his attraction to a girl completely obvious, and she can tell he’s really trying hard to say and do the right things to win her favor, she’s usually going to not feel too excited about him.
Why? Because this guy does not present any challenge. She views you as just another lonely guy who is eager to get laid or find a girlfriend. In other words, you are ordinary. And women aren’t turned on by “ordinary” men. They crave excitement, spontaneity, romance and passion.
There is nothing more predictable than showing up on her doorstep with a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers, and then taking her to an expensive restaurant and kissing her ass all night. Right when you hand her those flowers with a dumb-ass grin on your face, she can picture where this is heading. She’s in for a predictable evening with a guy who may be “nice,” but who doesn’t make her feel any sexual attraction.
The solution is to get creative. Don’t take her to predictable places, and don’t engage in predictable conversation and behavior.
First, you need to figure out how this date is going to begin. Are you going to meet her at the date location? Are you going to pick her up at her house? This stuff is actually critical because starting the date the right way can increase your chances of hooking up with her later on tonight.
If you’re a tourist visiting Asia you’ll probably need to meet her at the location, since you won’t have a car. But if this date is happening in your own country, then the ideal way to start the date is to have her come to your home so that the two of you can drive in your car together to the date location.